


Who Needs Astronomy Anyway?

by PaperDaydream



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Actually somewhat fluffy, Also includes Moriarty and Donovan, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Christmas, Finals, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidlock, Pirate Sherlock, Protective John, Protective Mycroft, Sherlock hates astronomy, Sherlock is basically just his stubborn self, Sibling Squabbling, Texting, mentions drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1384129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperDaydream/pseuds/PaperDaydream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock gets into his fair share of trouble in high school, but John is always there to support him. AU told through text messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finals

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~  
> This story is told in a series of texts. Sherlock is -SH, John is -JW, and Mycroft, (who appears later), is -MH. I may write non-texting chapters of this in the future. I probably will. It's basically a series of somewhat connected oneshots within this high school AU. (Also, I'm American, so sorry about any inaccuracies in that department.)  
> Enjoy! (Or don't, I don't control you. Enjoying is more fun though.)

Bored-SH  
Bored-SH  
BORED!-SH  
Sherlock, shouldn't you be studying for finals?-JW  
I already know all the material of any interest to me. -SH  
What about astronomy?-JW  
DULL! -SH  
Well, don't you want to pass?-JW  
Whatever for? I'm a genius. I hardly need a letter to tell me that.-SH  
Fine. Well I'm not a genius. I'm going back to work. -JW  
John, I'm BORED!-SH  
JOHN! –SH  
Alright. If you’re SO bored how about we quiz each-other? –JW  
Okay. Who stole Jenny Larkson’s phone last week? –SH  
Huh? I don’t know! Nobody does! I don’t even know if it was actually stolen! She could have pretended for attention. I meant questions for finals, Sherlock! –JW  
But Jooooohn! It’s such an easy question! –SH  
So you know, then? –JW  
Of course I know! It’s child’s play John! –SH  
Well, why didn’t you tell anyone? –JW  
Because it was her parents, obviously. They got sick of her texting constantly and took it away without telling her. After all, her grades were dropping. That’s been quite clear. You were the one passing back the tests on Monday; you should have known. Besides, her parents are terrible actors. They pretended to be worried about Jenny’s missing phone but they didn’t act surprised at all. Mrs. Larkson was also playing with her hair which is an obviously common nervous habit, which appeared of course because she was LYING. I’m surprised everyone didn’t know. Idiots. –SH  
Yeah, well, whatever Sherlock. I doubt that will be on finals. My turn now. Who developed the first heliocentric theory for our solar system? –JW  
I refuse to answer that idiotic question John. –SH  
Because you don’t know the answer. –JW  
Of course I know! –SH  
Really? Who? –JW  
Okay, so I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter, John! I don’t need such knowledge as a consulting detective! –SH  
No, just to pass school. It was Copernicus, by the way. –JW  
DULL! –SH  
Come on, Sherlock! Your family will be upset if you don’t pass! –JW  
My mother is not involved in my life so I doubt it will matter to her. –SH  
Well, what about the rest of your family? -JW  
Meaning Mycroft? Good. He deserves it. –SH  
What did he do this time? –JW  
I found another camera in my locker last week. And of course he just had to go on at me about school! –SH  
Which part of school? Your grades? –JW  
Sherlock? -JW  
Is it your grades? –JW  
Wait –JW  
Sherlock… -JW  
Are people picking on you again? –JW  
SHERLOCK -JW  
I know you’re seeing these messages. You’re too bored to ignore them. – JW  
It wasn’t a big deal. Never mind. –SH  
They ARE picking on you again, aren’t they?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! –JW  
It’s no matter. I’m still here, aren’t I? –SH  
Sherlock! You can’t just let them beat you up all the time! –JW  
What’s the point? I’ve fought back before. They aren’t worth the effort. –SH  
You could always tell me. I have your back, you know… -JW  
Stupid expression, “have your back”. Who comes up with these things? –SH  
Look, don’t ignore me, okay? This is serious. –JW  
It’s nothing to worry about. I don’t care what anyone thinks. –SH  
Who was it this time? Anderson? –JW  
Of course not. Anderson is a sniveling coward. –SH  
Who then? Donovan? –JW  
Donovan rarely resorts to physical violence. –SH  
Wait a min- Oh god. Was it Moriarty?! –JW  
SHERLOCK! –JW  
IT WAS WASN’T IT –JW  
IS THIS WHY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN AT SCHOOL –JW  
ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT! –JW  
There’s no need to get so worked up John. –SH  
Is that right? What has he done this time?! –JW  
You know what? I think I’m done being bored now. Talk to you later John. Enjoy your studying. –SH  
Sherlock you have got to be kidding me –JW  
Don’t make me come over there –JW  
That’s it. I’m done. I’ll be there in a minute. –JW  
WAIT! STOP! –SH  
Why? –JW  
Okay, okay it was Moriarty. But I’m fine, I swear. – SH  
Then why haven’t you been in school? - JW  
Mycroft’s kept me home studying. –SH  
You are a terrible liar –JW  
Well, I tried. Want to study now? Let’s study. –SH  
Fine. But if I find out you’re in the hospital again… -JW  
Don’t get yourself into trouble, John. I’ll be back in school tomorrow. -SH  
You’d better be. Finals start tomorrow. –JW  
I only have easy classes anyway. –SH  
Like…? –JW  
AP Calculus and Orchestra. –SH  
Calculus? Good grief! –JW  
Child’s play. –SH  
I’m crazy with worry over Advanced Geometry… -JW  
Why? –SH  
It’s HARD! –JW  
Said no one ever. –SH  
No, said everyone except you –JW  
Exactly. Easy. –SH  
Wh-what? That doesn’t even make sense Sherlock! –JW  
Hmm –SH  
Well, what about orchestra then? Are your finals solo? –JW  
Yes, of course. –SH  
Well thank god for that, although I don’t know why you insist on not playing with the group –JW  
Because they are invalids and they can’t count. –SH  
One of them played triplets as if we were in 4/4 and not 3/4 and they always mess up on their shifts. –SH  
Not everyone can be a virtuoso, you know –JW  
Exactly. So why must I play with everyone? –SH  
Because it’s orchestra Sherlock! Orchestra! Not a soloist class! –JW  
I don’t care. Everyone else is stupid. –SH  
WOW. –JW  
Thank you. –SH  
That was sarcasm –JW  
How am I supposed to tell over text? –SH  
Because- I DON’T KNOW! I give up. Let’s study! –JW  
Fine. –SH  
What is the third planet from the sun? –JW  
Don’t care. –SH  
TRY –JW  
Pluto –SH  
Wrong. Pluto isn’t even a planet, Sherlock! –JW  
It isn’t? –SH  
No. It’s a dwarf planet! –JW  
Why should I care? –SH  
BECAUSE! It’s bloody simple Sherlock! EVERYONE knows that! –JW  
As long as you don’t post this to your blog. –SH  
It’s a dwarf planet because it hasn’t cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. And the third planet is EARTH. –JW  
Wait. Hold on a minute. –SH  
Why? –JW  
I need to delete all of this useless new information. –SH  
SHERLOCK! – JW  
… -JW  
…- JW  
Are you done yet? –JW  
Alright. Yep. –SH  
Third planet from the sun? –JW  
Don’t know, don’t care. –SH  
WOW. –JW  
Thank you. –SH  
Sarcasm again. –JW  
How predictable. –SH  
You didn’t know –JW  
Then your sarcasm has failed. –SH  
Fine. Ask me something. –JW  
Name 62 poisonous plants of Central America. –SH  
What? Sherlock that is not going to be on finals! Besides, we had human geography this year. –JW  
Possibly more useless than astronomy, if that is possible. This knowledge is far more helpful, especially if you want to be, oh, I don’t know… A detective, or a doctor… -SH  
Don’t tell me you do this every year- JW  
How did you pass all those years to get into this grade? –JW  
Mycroft pulled a few strings. –SH  
You aren’t learning the curriculum then? Ever? –JW  
I have created my own. –SH  
What is that supposed to mean?! –JW  
It means that I learn only what I need from school and find more information elsewhere. You know that. –SH  
Well, to be a doctor you actually have to pass school for real. Give me a question. A real one. –JW  
Fine. Let me find a study guide! –SH  
Okay. –JW  
I can’t do this John. It’s all too easy, too useless, too dull! –SH  
Worst. Study partner. Ever! –JW  
It’s hardly my fault. You shouldn’t need to study, John! –SH  
WOW. Okay, right, I’m going to stop texting now. –JW  
John? –SH  
That “WOW” was sarcasm, right? –SH  
Joooohn? –SH  
JOHN I’M STILL BORED –SH  
Are you coming back? –SH  
Are you angry with me John? –SH  
John? –SH  
I’m BUSY. –JW


	2. The Principal's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock isn't in class. John is suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, Sherlock is -SH, John is -JW.

Sherlock, where are you? –JW  
I saw you in geography this morning, why aren’t you in class? –JW  
Did you leave early or something? –JW  
I’m in the office. –SH  
Again? – JW  
It’s not a big deal, John. Just astronomy again. –SH  
The one day I miss that class… -JW  
What did you do this time? –JW  
Oh, I caused a bit of a commotion, I suppose. Nothing to worry about. –SH  
What kind of “commotion”? –JW  
A loud one. –SH  
That’s pretty undescriptive. Care to explain? –JW  
There’s nothing really to explain. –SH  
With you, there’s always something –JW  
Not this time –SH  
So, what? You just got bored and lost it? –JW  
…Something like that. –SH  
Was it really? –JW  
No –SH  
Am I going to have to guess? –JW  
Are you a detective now too, John? –SH  
Haha, very funny. -JW  
Hmm… Are you down there alone? –JW  
Sherlock? –JW  
No –SH  
Wait- what? –JW  
WHAT DID YOU DO? –JW  
WHO’S DOWN THERE WITH YOU? –JW  
Make a deduction. –SH  
Anderson –JW  
You’re showing some improvement John. I applaud you. –SH  
Seriously, what happened? –JW  
You know Anderson. Just being an imbecile. –SH  
How so? –JW  
We had to do a project –SH  
Oh god –JW  
And he got all uppity because he cares about useless things like “asteroids” -SH  
Don’t tell me you… You didn’t –JW  
He deserved it. –SH  
I can’t believe you –JW  
It’s the truth. You should have seen the look on his face. I got in a good one too. –SH  
Black eye? –JW  
Broken nose. –SH  
Ah. –JW  
Sherlock, what’s been going on with you lately? –JW  
I’m pretty sure I have no idea what you mean. –SH  
You may try to pass it off as tough, but I know you. Why have you been so sensitive to him lately? –JW  
It’s nothing, John. Drop the subject. –SH  
Nice try. Anderson never used to get to you like this. This is the third time this week! What is going on? –JW  
You’re going to get caught texting in class. –SH  
I “went to the loo” about ten minutes ago. I’m not about to get in trouble for nothing, though. You’re not distracting me. What’s going on? –JW  
John, really. You blow these things way out of proportion. –SH  
Not really! You just broke Anderson’s nose! –JW  
Don’t tell me you never wanted to do the same thing. –SH  
Sure, but you actually did it. –JW  
And it felt great. –SH  
Wait a minute, you would never do this just over some remark. You use words, not violence. What are you not telling me? –JW  
I told you what occurred John. –SH  
Did you tell me all of what occurred? –JW  
How does one discern where one event ends and another begins? –SH  
Don’t play games with me. I’m going to figure this out. –JW  
Why does it matter, John? You know why I’m not in class. The rest of the story holds no importance. –SH  
Because I’m your friend, and if that was true you would just tell me. –JW  
Oh no –JW  
Wait, I know what to ask now –JW  
What did Anderson actually do to you? –JW  
Nothing I couldn’t handle. –SH  
Why won’t you tell me anything these days? –JW  
Because you make far too big of a deal of things. –SH  
Anderson has a broken nose. What did he do back? –JW  
I was the one who retaliated, but not much and that’s the truth. –SH  
What qualifies as “not much”? –JW  
Slammed my head against the wall. –SH  
HE WHAT? –JW  
I told you. You always overreact. –SH  
I’m going to see you in about 15 minutes, so you’d better not leave anything out. Now tell me what happened. –JW  
Anderson and I had to do a project about asteroids. –SH  
Yes, you did say that. And? –JW  
He wanted me to work, but I was deducing someone standing in the hall to pass the time and didn’t feel like it. –SH  
And? –JW  
And so he got frustrated and shoved me against the wall. –SH  
And that was all? –JW  
No. I may have insulted him and then he punched me in the gut. –SH  
But I got him back and then the teacher broke it up, and now I’m here, sitting in the bathroom because I don’t want to “discuss our feelings” with the principal. –SH  
You ditched going to the principal’s office? –JW  
I was talking to you. –SH  
I’m going to kill Anderson. –JW  
He’s not worth the effort, John. –SH  
You punched him. –JW  
I needed to make him let me go. This doesn’t concern you though. –SH  
Yes it does. I told him to leave you alone. I’m going to kill him. –JW  
Don’t get yourself in trouble, John. –SH  
I think you’re the one who’s in trouble. The principal sounded pretty mad over the intercom. –JW  
I’m sure he is. –SH  
Also, Mycroft is here. He’s asking me where you are. –JW  
How did he find you? The school wouldn’t let him bug the bathrooms. –SH  
I’m in the halls now. It’s passing period. He’s asking me to show him my phone. –JW  
Don’t. –SH  
He only wants to help you, Sherlock. –JW  
I don’t need his help, nor do I desire it. –SH  
If I don’t give it to him, he’ll just take it. –JW  
I won’t speak to him. –SH  
What happened between you two? –JW  
He took my violin away. –SH  
Did he? –JW  
He said I needed to stop ignoring him and start doing my coursework. He’s tired of pulling strings. –SH  
Ah, I see. Did you do your work? –JW  
No –SH  
Of course you didn’t. –JW  
He can’t tell me what to do! –SH  
He technically can. I told him where you are. –JW  
JOHN! -SH  
You need help, Sherlock. I’ll see you later. –JW  
Traitor! –SH  
Call me all the names you want. I don’t regret it. -JW


	3. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock WILL be home for Christmas; Mycroft will be sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Mycroft is in this chapter! Sherlock is -SH, Mycroft is -MH. Warnings: If you didn't notice, there are the teeniest tiniest mentions of some of Sherlock's less wise habits in this chapter. (Drug use, not eating.) When I say tiny though, I mean it. Like, less than canon. I'm just being paranoid.

Brother dear, where are you? –MH  
Answer your phone, Sherlock. –MH  
Mummy is getting upset. –MH  
Sherlock. My patience is wearing thin. –MH  
I suppose you won’t be needing this shipment of toes? –MH  
Don’t you dare –SH  
Ah, there you are! Come back home, brother dear. It’s Christmas. –MH  
That was a very compelling argument, but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline on coming home for “socializing with the family” and watching you gorge yourself on sweets. –SH  
Ha ha, that’s cute. I’m not kidding around. You know I can find you if I have to. –MH  
Go ahead. –SH  
You could just be mature enough to come home yourself. –MH  
You’re not the boss of me. –SH  
I technically am. –MH  
You still can’t do anything. It would be rather disrespectable of you to reveal your practice of stalking me to drag me home. –SH  
Sherlock, I’m pretty sure I have no idea what you’re talking about. –MH  
Uh-huh. –SH  
Stop being difficult. –MH  
Make me. –SH  
Sherlock. I thought we discussed this kind of behavior. –MH  
That is correct. –SH  
You can’t just run off whenever you feel like it! –MH  
Clearly, I can. –SH  
You need to come back and have some dinner. –MH  
I’m not hungry. –SH  
You never are, are you? How many times have you eaten this week? –MH  
Digestion slows me down, Mycroft. You know that. –SH  
You need to eat. –MH  
I do eat, when it pleases me to do so. –SH  
How many times? –MH  
Sherlock Holmes! Answer my question! -MH  
I’ll find out soon enough. –MH  
Two. –SH  
Sherlock, this is getting ridiculous! Come home and have some turkey. –MH  
No. I don’t want to. –SH  
What are you, six?! –MH  
Temper, Mycroft. -SH  
Yes, I am getting a temper. Come home NOW. –MH  
I answered your request. This is getting tedious. –SH  
If you stop answering, all of your experiments are getting thrown out. –MH  
It’s rather hard to see you as anything except the enemy when you are threatening me. –SH  
Very cute. Cut the act and get back here before I call the cops. –MH  
They won’t find me. They are all idiots and I know London well. –SH  
I know, but it would be irresponsible of me to let you wander the streets alone. –MH  
This doesn’t concern you. –SH  
What are you doing, anyway? –MH  
Stop nagging me, Mycroft. It’s getting old. –SH  
Sherlock Holmes, you had better not have any drugs in your possession! I see how you’re avoiding my questions!–MH  
Ooh, the full name again! Terrifying. –SH  
I’m not kidding around. You need to stop. –MH  
For your information, I found a case. –SH  
On Christmas Eve? –MH  
Crime never sleeps. –SH   
I remember when you wanted to be the crime… Captain Sherly. –MH  
Don’t even start. –SH  
“Please, oh please play pirates with me Mycroft!” –MH  
Shut up. –SH  
“You would see much farther if you used this toilet paper roll!” –MH  
MYCROFT STOP IT I WAS AN INFANT! –SH  
*Nine and a half –MH  
I stopped dressing up. –SH  
Not until your teacher banned your costume from school. –MH  
Fatty –SH  
Oh, that’s mature. –MH  
Brat –MH  
Arrogant jerk! –SH  
Freak –MH  
Wait -MH  
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. –MH  
I’ve heard it before. This is nothing new. –SH  
I know. That’s why I’m concerned. –MH  
You’re always concerned. –SH  
Are you okay? –MH  
FINE. –SH  
JUST LEAVE ME BE! –SH  
Alright. Come back soon, Locky. We’re opening presents at 10. –MH


	4. The Case of the Missing Binder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock works a case searching for his missing binder of tobacco ash samples. John goes on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, John is JW, Sherlock is SH. Thanks for reading!

Come to the chemistry room, if convenient –SH

Sherlock, it’s Saturday. –JW

And? –SH                                

No school? It’s closed? –JW

Of course there is not school. But the track team is here. And the band. And there is a play rehearsal. –SH

And you participate in none of those. What are you up to? –JW

I’m working a case. –SH

Now? Really? –JW

Yes, John. Right now. Come quickly. –SH

No. No, I will not come quickly. It’s the weekend, Sherlock! I’m busy! –JW

Doing what? –SH

Things –JW

What kind of things? –SH

Just… Things! –JW

Are these things the kind that you make up on the spot as an excuse to not come and investigate with me? –SH

Good guess, but no. This time, I’m actually busy. –JW

With what?! What’s so important that you’re too busy to help me? –SH

SHERLOCK STOP TEXTING ME, I AM ON A DATE! –JW

Oh. –SH

Oh! –SH

With that girl… What’s her name? Megan? Amy…?-SH

Sandra. Her name is Sandra. I’ve been talking about her for weeks. Nice to know you care. –JW

I do care, John. I care that you’re too busy with this Samantha person to come and work this case with me. –SH

Sandra. Her name is Sandra. –JW

Whatever. Apples and oranges! I require your assistance. –SH

No. –JW

Yes. –SH

No. –JW

I assure you that I do. –SH

And I’m telling you no. I am too busy right now. Work your bloody case yourself. –JW

But Jaaaaaawn! –SH

That is not my name. –JW

JOOOOOOOOHN! –SH

Sherlock, my date is at a movie theater. My phone is on silent, but I am getting a lot of dirty looks. –JW

Good. They can convey to you my annoyance. –SH

Sherlock, I’m not kidding. I can’t work a case with you now, okay? –JW

But JOOOOOOOOHN! I need you! –SH

Too bad! Sandra is getting annoyed that I’m still texting you. –JW

Good. Maybe she’ll break up with you and you can leave. –SH

Why am I even friends with you? –JW

Sherlock…? -JW

What is this case, anyway? –JW

I thought you said you didn’t care. –SH

I do care, I’m just too busy to come and help. Maybe if you type it out it will help you solve it. –JW

My binder of tobacco ash samples is missing. –SH

??? –JW

Wait… Are you saying you brought that to school? –JW

Yes. I needed it as a reference for a different case. –SH

What case? –JW

Paula’s bow is also missing. Whoever stole it (and I’m sure someone stole it, it was in her case,) smoked. There were ashes in the lining of the case. –SH

So you brought tobacco ash to school? –JW

Yes. Keep up, John! Seriously! –SH

I bet I know where they are. –JW

Really? How? –SH

Just check the front office. –JW

Are they there? –JW

I’m almost there, hold on. –SH

…

Oh. You were right. They were behind the desk in the front office. –SH

Glad I could help. –JW

How did you know? Your deduction skills amaze me! –SH

Sherlock. Of course they were in the front office! You brought tobacco ash to school. That’s against the rules. They were obviously going to be confiscated. –JW

…Oh. –SH

Yeah. Once again, glad I can help, but like I said, I’m on a date. So if you don’t mind… -JW

Oh. No. Of course, John. Have fun on your date. Even if it will be your last one with this Sarah girl. –SH

Wait… what? Why will it be my last? –JW

She gave her phone number to Roger on Thursday, after we texted through your last date. I expect that she’ll break up with you when the movie has concluded. –SH

Wow. Thanks a lot. –JW

I’m always happy to help, John. See you on Monday! –SH

...You really don’t get sarcasm at all, do you? –JW

Okay, fine. See you Monday. -JW

 

 


End file.
